


Hypothetical

by unluckyCharm



Series: Ryuji "Cars 2 made me gay" Sakamoto [1]
Category: Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: But sort of only vaguely, Ex-friend after this probably, Feel free to lmk if anything I write is ooc, I don't actually own this game everything I know is from the wiki and my friend's snapchats, I say fuck a couple times but it still counts as gen, I'd apologize but im actually not sorry, If your kink is wanting to fuck cars I'm not trying to shame you, It's...implied I guess, Late Night Phone Calls, Mentions of past unrequited ann/ryuji, Mentions of....car sex?, Right?, This kinkshaming only applies to ryuji
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-15
Updated: 2017-04-15
Packaged: 2018-10-19 08:07:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10635756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unluckyCharm/pseuds/unluckyCharm
Summary: As horrible as it was, dealing with the constant pining and flirting, having to tell one of her closest friends she "didn't like him like that", and feeling guilty every time he looked her way, sometimes Ann wishes Ryuji hadn't gotten over his crush on her.Tonight was definitely one of those nights.EDIT: HI THIS IS A CRACK SHIP I KNOW IM WRITING A LOT FOR IT BUT PLEASE...I DON'T...I DON'T ACTUALLY WANT HIM TO FUCK THE CAT APPARENTLY SOME PEOPLE WERE NOT SURE reading this will not scar you for life I promise





	

"Hey Ann?"

  
"Ryuji, it's 3 AM. Is there something going on? Do I need to get up?"

  
He pauses. This is definitely not a Phantom Thieves call. She knows this, but she still has to ask, desperately, in the hopes that just once he'll wake her up for an actual reason.

  
"Uh, no, sorry I just-"

  
Not for this.

  
"Spit it out, Ryuji."

  
"It's just- I was thinking about it and. Hypothetically..."

  
She wishes these late night advice calls were hypothetical.

  
"Hypothetically, if someone -not me!- someone wanted to fuck a car...what would you call that?"

  
Ann chokes. She should have been expecting this, especially after that last phone call, but she is a fool who thought his line of questioning would end with furries.

  
"You want to fuck a car?"

  
"I-I said not me! This is hypothetical! Ann!"

  
"Right. Hypothetical. Sorry."

  
"So, uh. What would you call it?"

  
"Ryuji, I'm not google. Fuck off. Go to sleep."

  
"I tried google, but 'autosexual' did not get the results I was expecting."

  
Ann wants to cry. Why is this her life. She doesn't deserve any of this.

  
"Why would I know the answer to this question? And why would you want to label yourse - anyone as sexually attracted to cars?"

  
A horrible thought comes to Ann's mind.

  
"Wait. We're still talking about your crush on Morgana, right?"

  
Ryuji stutters, panicked.

  
"Wha-I'm"

  
"This isn't ALL vehicles, right? You're just interested in Morgana. You aren't asking me for advice on fucking actual cars. You aren't interested in any other cars."

  
"WHAT. No, of course I'm not. Wait.. I mean"

  
"Hypothetically."

  
"Yeah, hypothetically!"

  
There's another pause.

  
"Hey....Ann?"

  
"What."

  
His voice is uncharacteristically quiet.

  
"Hypothetically....do you think watching Cars 2 made me gay?"

  
Ann is going to scream.

  
"Ryuji. If you wake me up one more fucking time to ask me for advice about your hypothetical crush on Neko Lightning McQueen I'm going to throttle you."

  
"Oh-uh...sorry. Goodnight, Ann."

  
"Goodnight."

  
"Wait don't tell morg-"

  
Ann hangs up with a click. Throwing her phone would have been far more satisfying.


End file.
